Womens and Parenting

Being a mother is not easy or less when the children are more than one. Having children in similar age has more positive aspects than negative, even when they cry, asking sensitive care or walk together, mothers tend to forget how good and emotionally and even physically succumb. It lacks hands, energy and patience.

Fernando Marchant, a psychologist at Vidaintegra reflection. “Today the mothers, before long, it autodesvalorizan, lose strength and begin to distrust their role as mothers, then collapse. It’s like a kind of fear and doubt seize them on their abilities and good sense to be a mom. ”

Faced with this situation, calls to regain inner strength, paying attention to the ancestral heritage of knowledge and experience available to the product of all mothers who are in your family. “There is what is called the ancestral mothers make from his own mother, grandmother, great grandmother and back. All this information is now in his psyche and I think it is important to recover this route because it gives them a powerful internal security. ”

The bailout, he says, is to remind mothers with two, three or even five or more children followed they managed and maintained a stable and appropriate management for each situation.

To do this, Fernando Marchant also proposes to refine the perception to discriminate and interpret the cries of each, because sometimes babies cry for everything and it is not wise to walk in shock. “The mother has to be calm and go sharpen the ear to differentiate when it comes to a cry of hunger, sleep, skill, arms, games, boredom or when something really happens.”

That is, listening, standing in his perception, understanding and neuro-psychological difference what happens and not go as firefighters to extinguish all fires. Is that having children at preschool age is demanding.

They require constant attention and care is difficult though, no doubt, with their existence and a single smile from them, fill your heart and happiness to fill the mother who loves them every day, take care and education.

So to not carry the burden alone will be important to rely on the couple and family networks in performing daily tasks.

Other maneuvers that names are behavioral type. Children must speak in short sentences and no great sermons. “We must encourage them and bring them to a label as you’re bad, you’re stubborn, you’re messed up because you damage your self-esteem, self-image and self-concept that the child has of himself,” said Marchant.

If there are fights between brothers and sisters for toys will be taught to take turns and learn to name things as they are (this toy is your brother) and keep written records on these shifts or belongings, so there is no room for doubt, but always stimulating and rescuing the good, positive. “It helps reinforce with something practical and tangential, a small thing that cheerful. A caress, a kiss, a compliment, but always emphasizing appropriate behavior rather than “inappropriate” and go teaching with clear rules, clear rules and limits, “he says.

The fault

“A mother does not have to be collapsing recreation and rest,” recommends Patrick Escorza, educational psychologist and academician of the Metropolitan University of Educational Sciences, UMCE.

Frequently commented that moms do not give the time, because in the social construction of reality about motherhood, is installed the idea that the mother has to give everything for their children and should be available at all times.

Therefore, if the mother is absent is to blame. Then, advises rid of that guilt and access opportunities for collaboration through the family, nurseries, kindergartens, to allow yourself a break.

It also provides that there is another form of care that does not require that the mother is over. It’s called “early childhood development care” and allows the autonomy of children in their self-exploration and saves them from the excessive overprotective mothers who do not leave you alone no time alone. But of course, the mother may be present watching, but not requiring the child to respond in obedience to the stimuli that it imposes.

In that sense, Patricio Escorza, called the children to relax and not think that everything that happens to your children is your responsibility. It is, but there are things you can not handle.

It also invited to verbalize and share with the spouse, friends or whatever, those emotions and circumstances to live with their children that lead them to feel anger or helplessness.

“The children take moms mad and do not download because they feel that the blame, judge, and although not give more, save and accumulate their emotions. That energy is dysfunctional and it is taken away, you can finally burst with violence in them or their children, destroying their self esteem and a stable family environment, “he says.